The Truth About Grace and Truth

Balance is important. You balance your family time and your work time. You balance your sugar intake and your water intake. You balance your play time and your study time. Balance is important.

Things that are the same don't need balance. Balancing your sleep with how much time you rest is not logical. Balancing your milk intake with your dairy intake wouldn't make much sense.

Two words in the Bible are often used to promote balance, and often they are used to promote balance in your discipline of children. Those two words are Grace and Truth. These two words don't describe balance, they are synonymous.

To make more sense, let me describe what we assume these words mean in our discipline.
1. Grace: Sometimes we are soft, tender and gentle.
2. Truth: Sometimes we are serious, stern and harsh.

All to often we take them to the extreme and define them like so:
1. Grace: Leniency
2. Truth: Hell-fire and brimstone

So, sometimes we are supposed to be lenient, and sometimes we are supposed to reign down fire on our kids like the wrath of God? No. Let's look at the two times in scripture Grace and Truth are mentioned together.

And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his
glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace
and truth.
John 1:14

For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth
came by Jesus Christ.
John 1:17

In these verses we see that "Grace and Truth" were in Jesus Christ and they were brought by Him to us. The truth about "Grace and Truth" is that the Truth is Grace and Grace is the Truth. They are synonymous. Jesus didn't bring some Grace to earth and some Truth and there's a balance of which one you get at certain times. Grace needs Truth, and Truth needs Grace. For you to claim that you have God's Grace (favor and blessing), you better have some Truth (proof) to verify it. For you to claim that vehicle is yours, you better have the title to prove it. Grace is God's favor and blessing, and Jesus Christ is the Truth (proof) that verifies it. His perfect life, His sacrificial death, His supernatural resurrection is the "Truth" that verifies that the "Grace" is legitimate. They go hand in hand. We can't separate it because when we do, we dilute and taint it. Grace without Truth is either leniency or salvation without assurance. Truth without Grace is condemnation and punishment.

Colossians 1:6 talks about preaching the "grace of God in truth." In II John 1:3 the author bestows "grace...in truth." Grace and Truth. Give out both at the same time in your discipline.

Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
-Colossians 4:6

Salt does a few things. It preserves against corruption, it makes something savory and it makes something unbecoming more tasteful. Using Grace is like using salt. Sin corrupts and punishment is necessary, but correction through the eyes of Grace and Truth preserves a child, makes God and Christianity seems more savory and desirable and it makes Jesus Christ seem "tasty" enough to want. When a child does wrong, they should be corrected full of Grace and Truth.

What's the "correction speech" to give to a child?
1. Truth: What was done was wrong because...
2. Grace: I love you, and God loves you regardless.
3. Truth: I know and God knows we're all going to fail. That's why Jesus paid for our sins.
4. Grace: Just like He forgave you, I forgive you.
5. Truth: Your punishment for sin is paid, but on earth, there will always be consequences.
6. Grace: God always helps you move on after sin, and I'll help you move on from this.
7. Truth: Here's the consequence for what you did.
8. Grace: Now, that that's over, lets go get some pizza.

Every child should walk away from discipline and correction knowing two things.
1. I was wrong.
2. Mom and Dad love me.

That's salvation. You have to know your wrong (a sinner) and then see the love (sacrifice) Christ made for you. Believing you're a sinner makes you need to work for salvation, and knowing Christ died for your sins without believing in that alone again requires works. And neither is correct.

When you correct, use Grace and Truth.